I have been enjoying the rain in the SF Bay Area. It is conducive for me, my creative work, and my current inward feeling of soul. Today I feel contemplative, like resting, writing, reading, or watching a movie. I would like to go on a hike off of highway 13 on a trail at Joaquin Miller State Park in the Oakland hills. It's one of my favorite hiking trails in the East Bay. I hike on a loop trail that takes me about 45 minutes to an hour to hike. There is a spot amidst the Redwood trees and rocks where I like to sit and simply be at the beginning of the hike. It is off of the trail and it's a comforting spot. One of my special natural areas that I go to regularly. A space/place like that is comforting and grounding for me. I enjoy being in areas that are familiar for me and also exploring and discovering new trails and natural areas. I like the consistency, safety, and comforting feeling--like a familiar kind of tea to enjoy when that is what I need. Yet, variety is the spice of life. I definitely enjoy new adventures and spontaneity. The dichotomy between comfort, what is known and consistent with newness, variety, the unknown, and adventures is what I intend to balance.
Balance in all aspects of my life is in continual motion. There is no possible way for me to grasp a tangible hold of it. It is moving, flowing, and this movement is life. My creative work, my thesis is moving along at an organic and sustainable pace. I am learning a lot about my creative process as an artist/filmmaker. It is a helpful reminder for me to trust in my creative process. How I work, live, and am in the world, is guided by my intuition and my inner knowing. Recently, clarity arose around my time-line for my thesis. It has its own time-line and I'm attending to the project and guiding it along. Currently, I'm working on the performance of the poem. I am utilizing the tools and skills that I learned in the Directing class that I took with Scott Boswell two years ago in the MFA program. Judith Weston's book has been helpful and useful to remind myself of active verbs when going over each line of the poem for Change Over Time. I'm working on figuring out how to perform this poem. Change Over Time is a process piece. The film is based on time--a year of my life. I intended to plough through my project so that I could finish it as soon as possible. Yet, my film is like a creative pregnancy and I feel pregnant with my creative work. This view and perspective of my creative work is in alignment with the organic and natural pace of the Earth, the seasons, and thus natural timing. From what I've experienced many creative time-lines and dead-lines are based on productivity and capitalistic modes of production. There is such an emphasis on product rather than process. Every creative person has their own style of working and structure. Through the thesis process, I've been discovering and clarifying mine.
I am interested in the creative process. There is so much to learn through this journey, during each phase and stage of the filmmaking process. Films for me, regardless of the length have their own time-line. Once a script is well developed and funding is in place, a narrative film can be sped through at a fast pace. A documentary, a personal film, animation, or experimental work may take longer. In reference to my thesis, I feel it does take longer. This is one reason that I feel it is helpful and useful for me to have short-term creative projects that I do regularly and a long-term project, such as Change Over Time that I continue to work on consistently. Short term projects for one being this blog, writing in my journal, drawing, cooking projects, gardening, etc. Any project that is creative, where I flex my creative muscles, and have a consistent practice is important. I feel that any short-term creative project or pursuit is beneficial and nurturing to long-term creative projects. For example, cooking a delicious and nourishing meal is creative, full of discovery, and is satisfying to me on many levels. For one, I have a connection and intimacy with my food and I'm nourishing my physical body. I enjoy the creative process of chopping up vegetables, experiencing the different colors, smells, tastes--all of those sense perceptions are wonderful and soothing to me.
I've been living with the question(s) before I began the MFA Cinema graduate program at S.F. State and continue to live with my questions. I'm at the cusp end of graduate school and on the bridge as an emerging professional. The questions of what areas of filmmaking to focus upon? Yes to, creative development, writing, directing, and producing. Yet, what technical skills to focus upon so that I can promote filmmaking skills that are marketable? A week ago, clarity arose for me during my appointment with my friend/facilitator Riza Baker. I have some clarity of areas to focus upon in regards to services that I can provide to filmmakers/creative professionals. What brought me to film/media overall, is that I am a storyteller and I love stories. That is the nucleus and core of my passion for filmmaking. My tools and skills of having a discerning eye and awareness of the overall vision, the big gestalt of a project are gifts that I have and can contribute to the overall story. Thus, I intend to focus and hone my tools and skills to gain experience as a story consultant. Also, I aim to be a creative coach for film/media makers and other creative professionals.
What excites me about the idea of being a story consultant and creative coach, is that I can contribute and express my creative and spiritual selves in both of those capacities.
Spiritual and personal growth skills such as compassionate communication, co-counseling, mirroring, meditation, intuitive guidance, etc. I feel excited and happy that I have this clarity. I do enjoy the collaborative process of filmmaking. I intend to also work and do other areas of film/media work such as editing, being an assistant director on projects, etc. for work. I also like the idea of working at a resonant film/media production company in the SF Bay Area. Working on documentaries and resonant narrative projects. These are my ideas that I'm mulling over and continuing to question/ponder on my journey.
These are my thoughts as I continue to carve my unique creative path, living in the SF Bay Area. I'm doing my best to be present, to take one step at a time, to trust in myself and the path that I am on. The only certainty I have is in the present moment. The only real known is what I have experienced, in the past. I'm continually stepping out into the unknown, exploring, being, experiencing as a creative being. Discovering and truly living. Feeling alive and proactive in my life. Balancing stepping forth into the unknown, with the comfort of the loop trail at Joaquin Miller State Park. Especially, the Redwood grove off of the trail. That familiar comfort, safety, and groundedness of that area is nourishing to me. That area is one of my sanctuaries in the Bay Area of familiarity and what is known. Like a familiar cup of tea, sometimes it is what I need during these times of accelerated and rapid change.
Thanks for reading,
Ewan
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