Tuesday, February 5, 2013

This moment is beautiful.

Wow! It's been a while since I wrote a blog post! My last post was during December 2012. January 2013 has been very, very busy for me! I finished one of my internships; as an assistant editor on Jenni Olson's current film, THE ROYAL ROAD. I've been working on a new internship with Frederick Marx transcribing audio from The Rites of Passage conference. I've been actively working on my thesis and in the flow of creative energy! It's been a surge of energies to work on my creative work. I'm grateful for the flow of energies and creativity. It was what I was waiting for. With the ebb eventually comes the flow. Many thanks to Jason Joseffer, a friend and colleague from UC Santa Cruz. Jason is a professional director of photography and camera operator in the SF Bay Area. Not only is he a wonderful, kind person he is an excellent DP and camera operator. We were in the same thesis video class to complete our undergraduate projects in college. Jason gave me a tutorial on how to use the Canon T3I DSLR so that I could do time-lapse cinematography on my own. I rented the T3I, lens, tripod, and tripod head for a week. I captured time-lapses all over the Bay Area. Today, I just screened the first rough cut of my thesis to the Advanced Editing class that I'm currently taking this semester. Greta Snider is teaching the class. I feel/know that CHANGE OVER TIME is continuing to be sculpted and to take its authentic shape and form. I feel proud and grateful with the forward momentum and growth of my project!

I feel grateful that I completed this first cut of CHANGE OVER TIME so that I could apply for the 2013 Pride Of The Ocean CineSLAM last Thursday. I went on the Pride Of The Ocean cruise during June 2011 with my buddy, Samuel Berliner. It was an all expenses paid cruise from NYC to Bermuda! SPIRAL TRANSITION, my first year graduate film was picked to screen as a part of the CineSLAM during The Pride Of The Ocean. All of the folks who participated or were a part of the program were LGBTQIA filmmakers. I received input and critiques from peers, filmmakers, professionals, programmers, etc. It was a great opportunity! I'll see if it's in the cards for me to go on the Pride Of The Ocean cruise this year from Seattle to Alaska!

Work, work, work is currently in the cards! Yet, I'm determined to continue to work and sculpt my thesis so that I can finish it by the end of Spring 2013 and graduate with my MFA in Cinema from SF State! I do want to honor the natural pace of my creative work. There are moments and times to gestate, to be slow, almost seemingly still. Yet, nothing is ever completely still. Movement is life! We are all spinning on this big, blue, ball called the Earth throughout the Infinite-verse!

I've been thinking about the person who I was when I began the MFA Cinema program during the Fall of 2009. I've been thinking about the person who I was when I began the program and first moved to the SF Bay Area 3 1/2 years ago. I stand face to face with my prior self. I'm looking at him, embracing him, and saying, oh, buddy you are in for quite a wild, wild ride! Wow! It will be so difficult at moments, so painful with so much human doubt, fears, and plethora of emotions. You will transform and be transformed again. I emerge from the fires of initiation, again and again with more certainty in myself, more confidence in myself as an artist as a creator. I know that part of my soul's purpose is to create, to express myself, to tell stories, to share my perspective, experiences, to be seen with clarity and compassion. To be heard with ears of love. Can one truly go forward without looking back? Embracing the temporal past self and selves? It's all one spiral of birth, death, and rebirth! Rebirth, indeed!

There are many unknowns for me when it comes to what I will do post-graduate school. Finishing graduate school will be a major ending. Completion. Death. Yet, there will be a re-birth of new experiences. I'm looking forward to this shift. I wonder where I will direct my energies when I complete what has turned into for me a 4 year program! Wow, indeed. I've worked so, very hard. I've come so far from where I've been. Graduate school is a chapter within the many chapters of my life. It was my dream, my vision, and I'm living it and I've lived it. I've learned so much about myself, interpersonal dynamics, and just like the thesis film, CHANGE OVER TIME, I, as an individual am being sculpted as an artist into an emerging film/media professional. It's rather exciting. I have dreams to make a movie about my Grandma Shirley. That will be a journey, indeed! To know one's roots, where one comes from, to honor the ancestral lineage, and ancestors is to be connected to one's self and one's history. It is also to learn about one's self. I honor my ancestors and I'm grateful for their support with my creative work and life. Blood pumping through my veins, I honor my physical/earth ancestral lineage.

I look forward to working on a feature when it is a resonant time in my life to create a trans romantic comedy. That will be a journey, as every film is a journey within a journey within a journey. Life's unknowns. For me, to be an artist means to continually step out into the unknown again and again....and, well again! With certainty and solidness of myself in my core. To be empowered and to know that I'm an important person and that what I have to say and do matters. Every action has a reaction. I can and am making a difference in this world through writing, my thesis film, making art, and simply living with awareness, sustainability, and consciousness. One step at a time, I continue on my path. Emerging, believing in myself more and my gifts, skills, and soul purpose that I'm here to share and express!

Thank you for reading!

Blessings,

Ewan