Thursday, October 18, 2012

Natural Life-Cycles and Rhythms of the Seasons

It's been a beautiful and warm Autumn day in the East Bay. Today, I've been working from home. I enjoyed eating in the backyard, feeling the warmth of the sun, and being near my tomato plants. The tomato plants are near the end of their life-cycle. I was feeling a bit sad as I watered them today. I purchased the compost/soil, procured all three plants as seedlings, have witnessed their growth, harvested several times hand-fulls of beautiful fruit, and now as I continue to prune the deadening leaves on the stocks, I'm aware of the life-cycles of my tomato plants.

It is a beautiful reminder from the organic, natural world of the natural rhythms and pace of life. What in your life is close to the end of its natural cycle? What still has unripened fruit that will come to maturity, yet what needs letting go of? What are your intentions? What would you like to grow in your life? There was a potent new moon in Libra on Monday. The new moon is a superb time to write and ground one's clear, direct intentions for what one wants to cultivate and grow in one's life.

I have learned quite a bit from these tomato plants. As I reflect, I can connect periods of my life to their season of ripeness, juiciness, and bountiful fruitful harvest when the plants were at their peak of growth and fruition. I am currently sifting through the layers and laying to compost what I have experienced in my life's most recent chapter. I am being present in the process and letting go of what I no longer need. Writing it out, laying it to rest. Writing on papers, then burning them in the fire pit. Pouring water above the ashes. Thus, recycling the energy of what I have experienced, gleaning the experience, wisdom, and filling up my soul container, and releasing what I no longer need. It's a process of digestion. How often do people in busy, urban areas carve out the time to allow for digestion of life's most recent experiences and lessons?

I've been feeling rather inward and contemplative. Having a cold for a couple of weeks allowed me to rest. On the topic of natural life cycles this definitely pertains to my thesis film, Change Over Time. I thought and felt that I could plough through this film this year. I spent last year beginning to work on it. That is not including keeping meticulous track of my inner life and experiences in my journals and audio recordings. The film for me began to take off during the Fall of 2011 when I took my first animation class with Martha Goryzki. I feel that this project is moving at an organic pace. Like the time it takes plants or trees to grow. I don't feel that I can rush it.

I feel and know that I move and live at an organic pace that aligns with the rhythms and pace of the natural world. I feel the conflict of living in a capitalist, industrial structured and based society that moves at an alacritous pace and doesn't honor nor live in balance with the natural rhythms and cycles of life. It is challenging for me as a creative being and artist to live in a culture and society that for the most part, I do not resonate with. Ideally, I would love to have time to focus on my creativity, art, writing, and film and to live a sustainable life. Finding a balance between providing for myself through working and having time and energies to devote to my creative work. I want to honor the natural pace and life cycles of my art work and film projects. Thus, my thesis film may be finished by Spring 2013 or the Fall of 2013. I am avidly working on it and committed to doing the best that I can, while learning so many lessons along the way. Indeed! I look forward to continuing to share my musings and journey with those that read and enjoy my blog. Be well!

Ewan

p.s. The post-cards at the bottom of the page are for the Trans Post Project that will be in the William Way LGBT Community Center Gallery in Philadelphia in the next month or so.





Wednesday, October 3, 2012

October

It's October, a new month and I'm getting over a cold. Two of my housemates were previously ill before me. A lot of friends and folks in my communities have had autumnal colds as well. As I sit down to write, it's like sifting through leaves on the sidewalk. Feeling the heat of the Bay Area heat-wave and then feeling the coolness of the breeze and the fog that has rolled in--greying the sky above the East Bay.

When I wake up in the morning, I want to focus on the day. To be present. To be aware of all of the movement that flows in my life. The movement that seems mundane, yet without rhythm, the practicalities, and the so-called mundane that is so human what would get done? Intentionally making my bed, drawing back the curtains to greet the morning light, sometimes seeing a squirrel on top of the fence post outside of my window, brushing my teeth, preparing hot water for tea, enjoying breakfast in the garden. Being present of the slight and gradual shifts of the early Autumn season in my back-yard. I often hear apples fall from the green apple tree in the back-yard while I eat my breakfast. Amelia harvested a bunch of apples and she left the ladder out near the tree. I, too climbed up the ladder and picked a small bag full of green apples. I intend to prepare apple sauce with them, which will be a first for me.

I harvested three beautiful tomatoes from my tomato plants today. This was my third or fourth tomato harvest. There are still more green and orange tomatoes! It's amazing to me how much fruit these three plants have produced. I notice the subtle changes in the plants. The different coloration of leaves on the trees in the backyard. As I am in touch with the seasons, the shifts of the calendar of the year this connects with the shifts and changes in my inner life, in my soul. In my intentional release and letting go, I feel cleansed and inwardly purified in a sense. This letting go--creating a list of what is no longer serving me and intentionally, letting it go is like the leaves falling from the giant oak trees or other lovely deciduous trees. During the Autumnal Equinox, I wrote a list several pages in length of everything that I'm grateful for. I also wrote a list of my new intentions.

Laying low and resting while getting over this cold I have had an opportunity to rest and process more than I've had in a long while. It almost feels foreign to me, yet much needed. My life is active, busy, and full. I intentionally carve out the time to go on walks around my neighborhood, carve out time to be present in the morning at least a few times a week depending on my schedule, intentionally carve out the time for a few long meditations every week, rather than short ones. I have had an opportunity to simply be and rest which is and was necessary. Living in the Bay Area, I want to balance work, play, and rest. No easy feat for an active and busy person. These pauses and intentionally carved out moments for a cup of hot tea, a walk, meditation, writing, contemplation--all of it recharges me and makes me feel balanced and human.

On the fun note: If any Bay Area friends want to take a short break from their studies or meet after or before work to toss a frisbee back and forth at Ohlone Park or another park in Berkeley, let me know! I've lived in the Bay Area for three years and I haven't played frisbee since I first moved here. This is one activity that I would like to carve out some occasional time for. The frisbee that I have glows in the dark (for a short duration) and has an alien on it.

Be well!

Ewan